Earlier this fall, we had the opportunity to Zoom with Jennifer Breheny Wallace, award-winning journalist and author of Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—And What We Can Do About It, and then gather for coffee to discuss the book and the webinar. As the semester enters its final weeks, I wanted to offer three takeaways from Wallace’s work that resonate with our work at University and my own work as a parent.
- Students need to matter for who they are, not for the grades they earn, the points they score, or the person they might become. This idea has been part of our ethos since our beginning. Students should understand that they are more than their list of achievements. Adolescence is a key time for the development of a young person’s identity, and the idea of self-worth we impress upon them now can have lasting impact. Mentoring relationships, where students can connect with an adult in the school but outside of the classroom, help cultivate this sense of intrinsic value.
- In order to see their own value, students need to feel like they are a part of something to which they can add value. We feel we are worth more when people depend on us, trust us, and seek out our opinions and talents. Emphasis on community and student voice at University—from our time together in Community Meeting, to our student-led clubs, to empowering students to sit on hiring committees—shows students that we need and want their input and that their participation matters. When they feel a part of the process and the work, they take ownership of it and feel pride in their accomplishments.
- Supporting our children means we also have to support ourselves. It really does take a village to mold a life. I often say that there is no handbook to parenting, but when we build relationships with other adults, those friendships can renew and restore us so that we can be the best versions of ourselves.
I hope you get the chance to read Wallace’s book if you haven’t already. If you missed the earlier discussion or simply want a second chance to engage, join a webinar on Tuesday, Nov. 19, from 7:30-8:30 p.m. and the follow-up community discussion on Tuesday, Dec. 3, from 7-8 p.m. at University High School. You may attend the webinar, the discussion, or both.
This webinar and discussion are part of a six-part series from ISACS (Independent School Association of the Central States) and ISWCI (Independent School Wellness Collective of Indianapolis).
Click here to register for the webinar or see other upcoming ISACS Parent Series webinars and community discussions.